We have amazing minds. That big glob of neurons and systems between your ears has developed incredible memory, speed, and power over hundreds of thousands of years. In fact, it’s so powerful that our super-computers take 40 minutes just to simulate one second of its workings.

Our brains have helped to keep us, the human race, ahead of natural dangers – and caused a few dangers of our own.

One of the most commonly spoken about systems in the brain is the ‘fight or flight’ response. Basically, when we see a threat, our brain decides that we are going to fight the threat, it helps to come up with strategies and dumps boosters into your system. When it decides ‘time to run’, it comes up with strategies and dumps the same boosters into your system.

That’s right – different outcome but the same physical response. So… what does that mean for us?

We get to choose.

Courage

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” – Nelson Mandela

I’ve always been fond of President Mandela’s definition of courage as it recognizes the reality of fear and gives the reader a way forward. Like anything we want to change, we first have to recognize what is going on. Once we understand the situation, we can choose what we want to do.

So… how can we actually conquer that fear? I can tell you what we do at camp and then we can figure out how to use those same ideas back home.

A Trusted Mentor

One of the worst things we can do is keep the fear inside us. When we expose it – the emotion we are feeling and the future we are imagining – to someone we trust who has more experience that we do, the fear begins to go away.

First of all, you’ve just shared its burden with someone you know has your back, no matter what. That person has just become an ally and they’ll do all they can to help.

Secondly, by simply talking about your fear out loud, you reduce its power over you. You start to see for yourself that your fear, while real, may not be as powerful as you first thought.

When are campers are missing home, we ask them to talk about it with their counselor, DH, Camp Mom Judy, or me. It’s a little harder for the boys than the girls but it’s just as important. That mentor can help the camper see what’s really in front of them (which is way, way, way more good than scary) and help them through it.

Little Steps

A lot of our campers have a hard time climbing our 50’ tower or getting up on stage in front of the whole camp. The mechanics, they have covered. All can climb a few feet up and all can walk out on the stage. It’s the perception of those things as big fears that hold them back. So… we help them along the way.

A lot of life is what you focus on. Want to see the bad? There is more than enough opportunity. Want to see the good? There is even more than the bad.

To help our kiddos climb the wall, we ask them to go three steps higher than they feel comfortable. We always have them on the ropes and they are completely safe. They even test it a couple of times.

By heading up three more holds before coming down, they can see a) they can do it and b) they were safe. Next thing you know, they are up at the top of the 50’ tower.

Something Bigger Than Yourself

Most of the time, fear is completely and utterly personal – it’s all about you. You are afraid of this or that. However, when you connect with others and let some of their strength affect you, encourage you, fear starts to slide away.

For me, my favorite time at camp is Campfire. We are all together, outside, around a roaring fire. It reminds us all – from CIT to our youngest JJ, from CMJ to our first-time staff member, that we are Weequahic and that we are stronger together than we are apart.

At home, you’ve already got something great – the love of your parents. As La Tzu said, being loved by someone gives you strength. Use that strength to overcome your fears. Reach out to trusted mentors with your concerns and ask them to help you come up with a plan. Take little steps in the right direction – your courage muscle will grow!

And, remember that you are a part of something greater than yourself. Your family, your school, and your camp… speaking for Weequahic, we are behind you one hundred percent!

Have a great weekend. – Cole