Category: Campfire Conversation

Safe and Uncomfortable

October 4th, 2024

As I take in the wonders of Westchester County from my rising flight back home, I start thinking about a conversation I had with an almost 100-year-old great-grandparent this past weekend. (Have to admit – I was a little starstruck… not often I get to have a family member that experienced listening in on a camp conversation.)

I got a speak with him a little after the parents sent the kids to play. It was incredible. He talked about what his family had to do to survive the Great Depression. How they moved. What they drove in and how long it took. Growing their own food and so much more.

He used these lessons and built a great business which went through a lot of hard times but is, ultimately, still in the family. He had to deal with a lot of hard things. He participated in a World War, watched the Civil Rights struggles, saw the moon landing, and so much more.

All the while, he had his head down, taking care of his family, his community, his business… which will now send his great grandkids to camp. Incredible.

Some Challenges

I know we all believe there is a lot going wrong in our world. I’ve got good friends who children are in the IDF. Families are being divided along political and ideological lines. A lot of my friends in Appalachia are really suffering from the recent massive flood. And yet…

A recent note from someone I appreciate said: if we read the news, it’s never been worse. But if we read history, things have never been better. Can it be both? Perhaps… but it’s all how we decide to view things.

An author I enjoy (the Wait But Why guy) has a very interesting book out. He covers a lot of topics very thoughtfully, I believe. One thing he mentioned when speaking about his college experience: his professors told him they wanted him to be safe and uncomfortable in their classroom.

I love that. And, of course… it reminded me of camp.

Safe and Uncomfortable at Camp

Let’s not sugar-coat (or fiber-coat, in this case?) things at Weequahic…. It’s pretty cushy. Instant hot water heaters? Heated pool? Air-conditioned Dining Hall? Three meals & three snacks a day? Canteen? Cookies every Friday night?

Cushy.

And yet… it’s still uncomfortable for many of our campers.

Living away from home. Living in a bunk with 10 other kids and three staff members you’ve just met (for our newest campers) or friends from past summers for our returners. The food is good… but it’s at certain times and Uber Eats is not running our way anytime soon. Oh… and no tech. (The HORROR!) Our campers are out of their rhythms and out of their comfort zones.

And. It. Is. So. GOOD for them. Safe… and uncomfortable.

The amount of leaning when you move out of your comfort zone (just enough) is impressive. Independence starts to grow. Courage starts to grow. The world begins to open up. The comfort zone begins to expand.

You begin to see discomforts for what they are – stepping stones of future grown or something temporary not spend a moment dwelling upon.  You realize you can make friends with others without your parents around or school or video games.

That’s the gift of camp. A community built with kids at the heart of it – fun, safe and, at useful times, uncomfortable.

Easy will lull us to sleep. Easy will have us waking up in a world of ‘Wall-E’ lethargy. It’ll help us produce generations who lack grit, determination, independence and more. Camp is not the complete answer to this challenge… but it certainly can be a part of the answer.

Let’s help our kids be safe… and uncomfortable. Have a good weekend!

Garden Times in the City

April 6th, 2024

There is a very long, very old poem that I challenged myself to read two summers. (Yes, I read every night before going to bed, just like a lot of you campers!) It took me all summer and I’m happy I read it. While challenging to understand at times, it’s really stayed with me. 

The poem is about angels, demons and humans – so lots of interesting things happen. In a recent article I read, a teacher suggests one of the main conflicts is about the struggle we humans have between two ways of life in the poem: the city and the garden. 

The City Mentality

There have been lots of great references about cities in rhetoric. One of my recent favorites is the comparison our country as a shining city on a hill that protects freedoms. The author of the poem, however, takes a different view of his city. 

Rather than shining, the poem’s city is dark and full of people who only think of themselves. They build technology and the city in a way that promotes only self-love and no consideration for anything ‘beneath them’ or anything that could be better. 

It’s a pretty dark, selfish and separating way to live. In fact, in another person’s imagination, this same city is one in which everyone’s house gets further away from the others when there is a perceived slight… and there are lots of those when you only think about yourself.

The Garden Way

In contrast, the garden of the poem has people and animals and plants and earth. There is fun and connection. There is work – a lot of it, in fact. But the work that leads the inhabitants to think of others more (the plants and animals). 

Their daily completed work creates that which sustains life and connection. Because there are few distractions which promote thinking more of themselves, gratitude has space to bloom like the flowers of their garden, full and diverse in beauty. And it does bloom, daily.

Alas, as we know from most stories, good times don’t always last. (Hey, without conflict, you don’t get a very interesting story!)

In the poem, the leader of the city enters the garden and introduces just enough of his way of doing things to ultimately make a huge change to the people in the garden. The garden inhabitants begin to think more about themselves rather than the other. 

Because of this increasing shift, they lose, rather quickly, all the gifts and joys of the garden itself. 

Garden Times in the City

So, what are we to learn from this old poem around the digital campfire? To me, the lesson is one of awareness, first, and intentional balance, second. 

Living ‘in the city’ that the poem describes is not a happy-ending, fairytale experience. The tech is too powerful and sucks each of us in deeper and deeper into our own selves to the exclusion of others and everything around you. Not a good thing for relationships, connection or culture. 

Hmm… what in the world could have that effect on us? Oh, yeah – our screens. The ones in our pockets and the ones we stare at one the wall. I’ve had many a time when I was ‘just checking’ Insta that turned into a disappeared hour or some Youtube rabbit hole swallowed me up for longer. 

I know it’s not great for me or my connection everyone else. AND… the tech can be super helpful at times. I believe it’s too useful to throw away. I just need to be better managing it in my life. 

Thus, the garden times. 

I should create intentional times to put away the screens and be completely and totally with others… or myself. To get my hands literally in the dirt to create and grow something. To walk around trees and grass and lakes to watch, listen and be. To play and run and create using my hands and feet and eyes alongside other people. 

Paradise Found

Sounds like camp, doesn’t it? Yes, all this is super easy at Weequahic. No screens, no distractions – just people and creativity and movement and woods and lakes and fun. Our little garden paradise each summer. Those weeks are fleeting, though.

We just have to be better about creating those ‘camp times’ at home. Yes, it’s more challenging to collect your friends to do something like this… but the effort is sooooo worth it!

So, how are you going to create a bit of garden time this week? Can’t wait to see everyone in a few months to enjoy the garden times together!

Courage and Freedom

March 23rd, 2024

One of the ladies I enjoy learning from gave a big speech the other day. The whole thing is worthwhile but I wanted to focus on a story she relayed near the end: 

…when, on a trip to Israel, I met my hero and now my friend, Natan Sharansky, I really only had one question for him. I asked him if it was possible to teach courage. 

He paused and said this: “No. You can’t teach it. You can only show people how good it feels to be free.”

Bari Weiss, 92nd Street Y Address

By now, if you’ve been a part of Weequahic or read anything we’ve written, you’ve come across our feeling about ‘courage.’ I’ve written about it a few times. 

As a person who beats the drum about ‘courage,’ I was stopped by Mr. Sharansky’s reply. And, I think he may be right. 

Definition

So, before we start, how do we define courage? The Oxford Dictionary defines courage as the ability to do something that frightens one.  So, in other words, you’ve got to be afraid in order to be courageous. 

It doesn’t matter if you are feeling fear from looking down from the zipline station or getting on the bus for the first time, getting up on stage to address the whole camp or connect with your new bunkmate soon-to-be friends. Feeling no fear? No courage is needed. 

And, without courage, there is no freedom – from fear or anything else. Campers, this is important:

Just because you ‘feel’ fear doesn’t mean you are ‘captured’ by it. You still have the freedom to act as you’d like. It’s simply up to you.

Viewing Courage

When I think of teaching, I mostly think of book-learning and Mrs. Vipperman introducing biology to me as a seventh grader, chalk in hand and frog in front of me. (She was a heck of a teacher – and very memorable.) And, I’ve learned (a bit) about courage and the freedom it creates from books.

I’ve read a lot about people who have shown courage. Whether it be about Dr. King or George Washington or Mahatma Ghandi or Mother Teresa or Harry Potter or John Snow, I’ve got stories and stories and stories in my head of people who lived ‘free.’ 

From these stories, we can be introduced to courage and living free. It’s better, though, to be surrounded by people from whose example you can learn in real time. 

‘Doing’ Courage

The second best way to learn how to live free is to watch those around you. At camp, counselors come to mind first. They’ve chosen to become part of something larger than themselves and pour everything they have into making the summer amazing. It takes courage on their part to do so. Why? Because it would be so much easier staying home and working at the GAP or the coffee shop or doing an internship in some big office. But… those things are rarely as meaningful, purpose-full or fun.

The next group I think about as ‘examples’ are our CITs. Watching them balance their responsibilities of leading camp with the fantastic benefits of being a CIT (fridge in your bunk, more flexible time, their own Cove space, etc.) is very instructive. 

The very best way, though, to learn anything (just about) is to do it. Badly, at first, most likely. When you learned to walk, it was a stumbling, bumbling, hair raising experience for both you and your parents (for different reasons.) But you learned. 

Courage is the same way. Start off by standing up against something small that frightens you. For example….

I remember young Luke being afraid of snakes at first. With the help of a fantastic naturalist and surrounded by his parents, Luke (barely) touched a small black snake.  A little later that day, he held it with the naturalist’s hands underneath his own. After learning more and taking instruction seriously, a few days later Luke handled the snake on his own. Ultimately, he wound up showing other kids the snakes and helping them through their own fear.

Requirements

What does it take to build courage? A couple of things: 

1.     Opportunity – you can’t start practicing if you don’t have the opportunity. Camp, as you may have already guessed, is a great opportunity. So is the classroom! 

2.     Encouragement – Get around people who you KNOW want the best for you and let their support put wind in your sails. Your parents, coaches, teachers, siblings (yes, I said it) and close friends. And DEFINITELY your camp people.

3.     Curiosity – You’ll never know what is on the other side of that fear you are feeling until you experience it. If your curiosity edges out your fear, you’ll be ready to show the courage to try. 

4.     Safety Net – Hey, Miguel would never let you on the trapeze without the net, your safety harness and several good pairs of hands to support you. Kiera and Osmar wouldn’t let you climb without your harness, a properly tied rope, helmet and spotter. Make sure you’ve got your safety net around you… and then jump!

Courage will open up the world to you. You’ll be able to enjoy more thoughtful relationships, experience deeper satisfaction and extend past your self-perceived limits. There will certainly be bumps in the road and…, well, so much more joy, too. 

Go on, camper. Take the first step to get past that fear and feel the joy of being free. We’ll be here to help.