Category: Campfire Conversation

The Arts Studio

Keep Growing

March 25th, 2022

I had the opportunity to be in Paris last week seeing families. While it was all about seeing families, I got to spend a bit of Tuesday in the Musée d’Orsay. I don’t know much about art but I know this: the beauty contained in that building and the stories told on canvases are inspiring, breath-taking and worth the trip.

While the subjects and styles were incredibly diverse, I noticed a common thread. While reading the explanation markers next to the works or listening to the audio tour (yes, yes – I’m a total nerd), most of the painters were paying tribute to past masters or works that had influenced them.

It didn’t matter if I were looking at a Manet, Van Gogh, Courbet or Degas… all of the painters produced works that had been influenced by those before them.

Building

We are always building on top of those who went before us. Dr. King studied those who had come before him – Jesus and the disciples of the New Testament all the way to Gandhi – as he developed and led the Civil Rights movement. The developers of YouTube, Instagram and Snap all built upon the code and ideas which had previously come into the marketplace from others.

Camp is the same. Tradition is certainly important. And change must be embraced… as long as it is growth rather than decline. 

At Camp Weequahic, we’ve learned from other great spaces for children and staff. We’ve taken ideas from books, boutiques and even banks. Kate and I learned from those who came before us, women and men who were generous with their time and knowledge. People like Jancy Dorfman and Scott Ralls, legends of camping, were happy to share. 

Our most recent generation is teaching us as well. Our college-aged staff keep us young and engaged with the current trends. They bring their own experience from other camps and walks through life. New ideas which they share continue to keep Weequahic moving forward while remaining grounded in our mission of creating amazing.

Let’s Keep Learning

So, to the past masters, thank you. And to all those who continue to bring ideas to our table, keep them coming. We can’t wait to see the art we create together!

Enough

February 18th, 2022

A group of dads and 8th grade boys and I were talking a bit last week. We were focusing on how to protect against the challenges that culture throws at us… and the challenges we throw at ourselves. 

One young guy asked a question about the seven ‘deadly’ sins. It was a phrase I’d not heard in a while so we looked them up: pride, greed, lust, envy, gluttony, wrath and sloth.

These were first discussed in the 6th century. The idea was to name the ‘foundational’ challenges (or sins) that lead us humans to other challenges. If we knew what the bad things were, the thought went, we could defend against them.

All are pretty self-explanatory. Thinking of yourself too much (pride), being jealous of others (envy), getting really, really angry (wrath), having that 4th… or 7th cookie (gluttony),etc. But, being the overbearing camp director that I am, we started going through each one. 

About three quarters of the way through, another young man looked up and said, “It seems like most of these could be categorized as ‘wanting.’ I want too much food, too much entertainment, too much money.”

It was a great insight by an 8th grade guy. But what came next was even better. 

The Antidote

One of the other dads in the group looked around, smiled and asked, ‘If most of these problems start with wanting too much, what’s the antidote? How do you stop it from getting going?”’ 

Without batting an eye, the young man responded, “Probably being grateful for what you have.” 

Bingo.

This principle applies as much to an 8th grader as it does to a business tycoon as it does to a writer. In fact, I recently heard a story that brought this idea home. 

Kurt Vonegurt wrote about an experience he and fellow writer Joseph Heller had together. While at some big party in a fancy house, Vonegurt looked at Heller and said, “Joe, how does it feel knowing that our host made more money yesterday than your book, Catch 22, made in its history?” 

To quote the rest: 

And Joe said, “I’ve got something he can never have.”

And I said, “What on earth could that be, Joe?”

And Joe said, “The knowledge that I’ve got enough.”

Enough

That’s a hard thing to do in this day and age. It’s soooo easy to find examples of what you don’t have – more things, more recognition, more free time. Culture is set up around us to egg that ‘wanting’ onward. 

And, frankly, some of that wanting is a good thing. You want to better yourself and the circumstances of those around you. You want justice for those not receiving it. You want and work towards understanding. 

For many of us, there comes a moment when you simply forget to be grateful for that and those which are in your life because you are so focused on wanting ‘more’… whatever that ‘more’ is. That marks the point of diminishing returns, the downward slide. 

At some point, there has to be enough. Because striving towards things that don’t fill you up in a way that makes you and your loved ones better will start to do damage to you and your loved ones eventually. Mr. Heller knew this. The young man around the table knows it as well.

What is Enough?

Now, ‘enough’ will seem to be different for you at different times. What is enough in middle school is different than in college or when you are a parent. The funny thing is that it is really not that different at all. In a letter to his wife, Abigail, President John Adams said it best:

The longer I live, the more I read, the more patiently I think, and the more anxiously I inquire, the less I seem to know…Do justly. Love mercy. Walk humbly. This is enough.

Works for me and probably will for you, too. Have a great weekend. 

(Full disclosure: I was battling ‘pride’ myself around that table. The young man who had the insight and answer above is a Weequahic guy through and through.)

Risky Business

February 11th, 2022

A few weeks ago, someone asked if I could boil down the two most important parts of running a summer camp. After thinking a bit about it, I said ‘building an incredible community for kids and staff’ and ‘managing risk.’  The first part is a ton of fun. The second is an important challenge.

(Believe it or not, campers, but your parents have pretty similar goals for you, too. They want to prepare you to be a helpful part of the community of adults. That’s why they support your learning and your manners… and your interest in camp! They also want you to learn how manage risk going forward. It’s a foundational skill that we all need to practice.)

I recently enjoyed a great conversation with Paul Dreyer, the CEO of Avid4 Adventure, about the importance of risk in the lives of our kids. A couple of things came up that I wanted to pass along. (You can also listen to Paul at the Campfire Conversation podcast if you’d like.)

Actual vs. Perceived Risk

Director Kate is petrified of sharks. Her brother forced her to watch Shark Week with him when it first came out. Since then, swimming in the ocean has been very low on her list.

She knows the actual risk of getting bit by a shark is super, super low. But the perceived risk is really high. That is thanks to movies and the media coverage of the very rare shark attacks. (Plus, the teeth! The speed! I get it….)

However, it’s when we are battling perceived risk that we learn and grow the most.

Imagine climbing past your self-set limits on the wall or getting up on stage with your bunk for the first time or even making a new friend. All of these things you perceive as risky… even though they actually aren’t.

When you make it through those moments – whether you are successful at the attempt or not – your body remembers that you battled through those risk perceptions. And, when other opportunities to battle perceived risk arise, you’ll be prepared to take them on.

Environmental Assessment

Our oldest is heading off to college in August. He’ll have a lot of opportunities to practice this skill. The good news is that he’s already practiced it a lot at camp.

When going into a new situation – whether it is in the lake or walking into a party – you want to say to yourself, “Ok, the situation is changing. What’s the change? What are the things I should think about? What’s one rule that I should follow?”

Think about going to camp for the first time. Your situation is definitely changing! You are going to be around a lot of new kids and living away from home for a handful of days. You should think about jumping into the experience with both feet… and remember that it’s natural and normal to miss home. One rule: I’m going to smile and be friendly with everyone I meet. (“Listening to your counselors” is a good rule, too!)

Reflection

Ah… the most important and least used aspect of learning. At the end of the experience or the day, taking a moment to think back over what you did, what you learned, and how you’ll do it differently next time is HUGELY useful.

And, it’s not something I do away from camp very often.

Many of you may not know but we have a team meeting every morning at camp before the day gets rolling. We take a critical look at the day before and figure out what went well and what we need to improve. That takes more than half the meeting… because we do so much in a day! But it also gives us input on how we should move forward with our goal to create amazing for everyone at camp.

I know this would be just as helpful at home as it is at camp. Even if it’s a 5 minute review each morning when I wake up or sit at the desk. You could probably find some time, too.

Embrace & Learn from Risk

Risk – it’s important! A life without risk is pretty dull. So introduce more perceived risk in your life. Don’t go swim in a shark tank or climb the tower without safety equipment.  Do push through some of those perceived risk areas though like making a new friend. When you approach a new situation, ask yourself what is changing and set one rule that will help. Finally, reflect on what you’ve learned!

It all adds up, campers. Each step you take on this journey is an useful and important one. No go out there and be AWESOME!