I’m so thankful that I get time to read in the ‘off-season.’ I get to enjoy fiction, non-fiction, biographies, and a bit of ‘historical fiction.’ Some books I start and put down after thirty pages. Other books make me want to stay up all night.

I didn’t always like to read ‘real’ books. Comic books were more my style growing up. In fact, I’m always happy to talk old school Marvel and DC stories with the campers.

Reading more substantial books came in high school and then flourished in college. I found books that told great stories in ways that I understood – Lonesome Dove, Shogun, Undaunted Courage, and others – and wanted to read more.

Great-Full Messages

I just finished reading a sweet, short book called The Noticer by Andy Andrews. It’s a nice reminder of being thoughtful in your choices. It also provides ideas to broaden your perspective on things.

The story begins with the narrator, a young man in his early 20’s, discussing how bad things had gotten for him. A somewhat mythical man calling himself Jones shows up to ask questions and lend some wisdom. Among the many lessons Jones lays out is that what you focus on increases.

‘When you focus on things you need, you’ll find those needs increasing.

If you concentrate your thoughts on what you don’t have, you will soon be concentrating on other things that you had forgotten you don’t have – and feel worse!

If you set your mind on loss, you are more likely to lose….

But a grateful perspective brings happiness and abundance into a person’s life.’

(emphasis added)

The day after I dog-eared that section, I stumbled on an article about gratitude I had squirreled away in my desk. Listed in the article were all the benefits found in practicing gratitude along with a few exercises to increase the habit.

Finally, this morning, I received this in my email inbox:

“Want the simplest way to build a habit of gratitude and color the rest of your day? It’s an easy three-step process:

1. Put a writing pad or journal and pen or pencil next to you bed before you fall asleep.
2. Go to sleep.
3. Wake up and write three things* for which you are grateful before you get out of bed.

*Don’t go easy on yourself and write the same things over and over. Think! Look around! I bet you’ve so many things to be grateful for you’ll never finish writing them down.”

Time to Practice

Ok, universe, I get it! I’ll pass these ideas along about gratitude to the kids at Weequahic.

If things had gotten more obvious, I’d expect a brick coming through the front window wrapped with a ‘be grateful!’ message.

Here’s the fun thing about that simple, one to three-minute morning habit: you awaken to all that is fantastic in your life. And, done over enough mornings, you begin to spend time searching out that which you’ll write down the next morning.

More and more, you’ll be practicing the habit of living gratefully. Do that and not only will you be a happier person, you’ll have a lot more people wanting to be around you.

So, why not give it a shot? I’ll be doing this practice from now until the end of the month. I’ll report back to let you know what I experience. If you’ll join me, I’d be happy for the company and would love to learn what you thought about it all.

Have a grateful week!

Hello all! It’s a chilly afternoon in Georgia and an evenly cooler up at our beloved Sly Lake. While I do enjoy the changing leaves, I must admit that I miss the flowers of summer. (Almost as much as I miss you kiddos!)

Did you know, however, that there are a few plants that bloom in the winter? It’s true.  My favorite is the aptly named Snowdrop. It’s a pretty little flower that blooms from Maine to Florida in the winters.

Why am I thinking about flowers at this time of year? A couple of reasons. First, flowers bring a bit of color to the normally cooler, darker days of Autumn. Second, they remind me that the light and warmth of Spring is not too far off. And, third, they bring some fresh air to the surroundings.

You know what else will bring these great benefits? Your friends.

Friendship and Flowers

Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom. – M. Proust

When you think back on your summer days at Weequahic, I’m certain you think of your friends first. Yes, the rock wall is great, the lake amazing, and Canteen a complete treat. But none of that really matters without your buddies.

As a father of three campers, I can honestly tell you our boys’ closest friendships in the world are those they’ve built at camp. And, as a camp director who witnesses tears from just about everyone the last night camp… well, I’m certain my boys have plenty of company in that regard.

The question is then, how do you express your gratitude? I’m not suggesting you call up you camp friend and say, ‘Hey, I was just calling to say that I’m really grateful for our friendship.’

Well, ok… sure, you can do just that. However, I don’t know a lot of 10 to 44 year old boys who feel comfortable expressing themselves or receiving that message well.

Actually, I think Maya Angelou said it best when she counseled us to give cheerfully and receive gratefully. When you call on the phone, send a text, or – gasp! – write a letter, give yourself cheerfully to your buddy. When you receive a note from them, treat it with gratitude.

It’s a little thing. But, as we talked about a few weeks back, little things add up very quickly, especially in a friendship.

A Grate-Full Month

It’s the Thanksgiving month in the States and, yes, my thoughts will certainly lean that way all month in these Campfire talks. I’m grateful to have a way to express my thoughts to you and hope they are useful.

Yes, I’m giving cheerfully. I really enjoy thinking about camp, our campers, and the humans they are becoming. It’s a great part of each week for me.

For the week ahead, think of the friends, family members, and mentors in your life who help you bloom. Receive their gifts gratefully

A camp director in China asked me how our program, our daily schedule, creates meaning for our kids. (These are fun conversations while hiking the Great Wall….)

I thought a moment and answered, “It doesn’t. Meaning is built at the margins.”

It’s true.

Meaning at Camp

Anyone who tells you how they teach tennis or waterskiing or ceramics builds character or meaning is wrong. Sure, our campers improve skills that way. And realizing they’ve developed or deepened a skill will increase that kid’s confidence.

This is a wonderful, important outcome. But character? The instillation of meaning?

Nope.

Parents, think about how you developed character in your life. You did not sit in a class called ‘character development.’ (Or, if you did, you probably didn’t listen much.) You did not have a paid professional bearing down on you.

Rather, you had parents, teachers, volunteers, rabbis, priests, books, friends, mentors, poems, etc.

You took in information over your lifetime. At certain moments, some one or some thing prompted you to think: This is important. This is wrong and I have to do something about it. I need to remember this.

Building Meaning

Character is built this way. Drip by drip. Mentor by mentor. Examined experience by examined experience. It takes time… and effort. Meaning comes only to those open to changing their way of thinking and behaving.

This is why camp is so important for our kids.

Our campers are growing and questioning and searching for a way to become. They are washed in playful connection with other kids, surrounded by mentors interested in serving, and reminded of meaning… at the margins of their day.

Once a week at campfire. Each night before they go to bed and have some quiet time for reflection. At the flagpole celebrating, with the whole community, that day’s small victories over self-involvement.

Our kids are open to these moments of meaning because the whole experience has built trust.

Campers see with their eyes the actions of the staff and older campers. They hear with their ears words and cheers. They overcome hesitation and playfully participate.

And, when they are ready, they awaken to the meaning infused in the moment. Whether it comes in the form of a question, a smile, a memory, or a story, the meaning is there… but always at the margins.

Have a great week!