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What Do You Say?

November 4th, 2016

Did you know body language – the positioning of your body, expression of your face, and movement of your limbs – communicates more of your intended meaning than your words?

It’s true and you’ve seen it before. You’ve seen someone walk into a bunk for the first time with a smile on their face. The concern in their eyes, shoulders, and arms, though, were screaming out. Our counselors are really good at seeing this and helping that camper get comfortable.  Once they’ve built friendships, the camper opens up to who he or she really is.

The Power of Body Language

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Camp Mom Judy – the queen of welcoming kids to camp!

Your body language has a huge effect on how others judge you how you judge yourself. If you are open, friendly, and interested, you are more likely 1) to be judged as a friendly person, 2) more likely to have those around you mirror your actions, and 3) more likely to see yourself as a friendly person.

On the other hand, if your body language shows you as intimidating, uninterested, or rude, you’ll be marked as an unfriendly person to be avoided. And, just as in the above example, the people around you are likely to offer the same type communication to you or simply leave.

Now, we’ve all had moments in our lives when our bodies are giving off messages we don’t intend to show. We are really upset about something totally unrelated but make a friend feel we are mad at them. Or, we are deep in thought about something and don’t pay attention to those around us. It makes them feel ignored or left out.

(Aside: The middle school years for many of our kids are full of these moments. So much is being thrown at them in the forms of academic, social, and outside demands. It’s overloading their ability to manage. This creates interactions that adults sometimes view as… unpleasant. We are lucky that camp creates a community that mitigates most of those concerns. Instead, our campers get to drop everything and just be their happy selves.)

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Um… guys? Not too inviting, there….

Those moments of negative body language are ok. One moment does not define you as a person. Rather, it’s the long arc of your actions that make the biggest impact. If you decide to consistently show yourself as a trust worthy friend, a person who is excited to see those around you, and polite to everyone you meet, a few moments of not-so-great body language will be forgiven or forgotten.

A Real World Lesson

Here’s the good part: what you say with your body is your choice. You get to decide in every situation. You simply have to 1) understand the power of your body to convey meaning and 2) learn how to manage that ‘language’ through practice.

I learned this lesson very early on in my camping career. At 27 years old and running a camp for the first time with over 250 girls, I was totally out of my depth. Masking my anxiety from the kids and parents had been working but it did not have the same effect with our staff.ac9u7079

One team member was brave enough to call me out on it. (Thankfully, Flick did it in a private and thoughtful way.) After spending some time monitoring myself and asking others, I realized she was completely right. So, I decided to change.  Rather than seeing myself as a harried, in-over-his-head camp director, I started to act like I knew what I was doing and smiling a lot more for everyone.

It worked. I believe that lesson in body language has made me a better camp director, mentor, and father. It’s something I continually practice and ask our staff to do the same.

So, what are you saying to those around you? Are you friendly, open, and trustworthy to everyone? Do you help to light up a room when you enter with a smile, looking people in the eye? From what I’ve seen at camp, you are ALL able to be great at this. It’s your choice.

Have a great weekend.

Friday Night Campfire: Courage at Camp Weequahic

October 28th, 2016

We are getting very close to our national celebration of fear and mischief. No, I’m not talking aboutac9u9965 the upcoming the Presidential Election. Halloween is just around the corner! As such, I thought it would be a good time to talk about one of our major values: COURAGE.

There are so many great quotes on courage:

  • “Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” – Lao Tzu
  • “It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends.” – J.K. Rowling
  • “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” – Winston Churchill

My two favorites come from Maya Angelou and Nelson Mandella, two great teachers who showed extraordinary courage throughout their lives. Ms. Angelou said, “courage is the most important of all the virtues because, without courage, you can’t practice any other virtue consistently.”

ac9u9932I couldn’t agree more. Honesty sometimes comes with a price. To be charitable, you have to be willing to give what is yours, even if you feel you don’t have enough. Kindness can be difficult to lend in situations that demand it. Patience certainly requires courage to allow the situation to come to the final result. Humility is sometimes described as ‘courage of the heart.’

Ok, so if courage is so important to all the other virtues, then, what is it? Mr. Mandella described it thusly: “courage is not the absence of fear but the triumph over it.”

At camp, we get to practice that triumph a lot. I use ‘get to’ because, at Weequahic, almost everything is a choice. (Check out our post on friendship to learn about what we require.)

Whether we are jumping off the pamper pole, getting up on stage for the first time, trying something new, or reaching out to build a new friendship, we all practice courage each and every day. The best part is that we get to do it together with friends and mentors who are practicing the same thing.ac9u0068

How are you practicing your courage back home? Just like your muscles, courage gets smaller when not used. Here are some suggestions to grow your courage each day: Be kind to someone when it may be easier to go with the crowd and be mean or, worse, ignore them. Be patient with a younger sibling. Tell the truth. Try something new.

Spend some time with your fear by recognizing it and doing it says you can’t do anyway. When you practice it, your courage will blossom. And, as your courage grows, so will your horizons.

Have a great weekend and a safe Halloween!

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Important Questions Asked at Weequahic

October 21st, 2016

 

At Weequahic, we ask our campers. Sometimes, they are straight up questions like “What evening activity are you excited about?” or “How do you like the meals?” or “What activity do you want to add to your schedule?”

Other questions come in the form of challenges such as “How will your team get a person from the dock to the beach using cardboard and duct tape?”, “Do you think that steak is done?”, or “How amazing can you make up the guys for Ms. Weequahic?”

My favorite evening of questions involves Weequahic’s oldest campers and their counselors. After a great evening snack, we sit around the campfire while I ask our young men “Who is the best man that you know?” and our young ladies “What choices are you going to make in your life?” The discussion that follows both questions is always engaging and interesting.

Those are just some of the questions we ask at camp. But our time at Weequahic lasts only six weeks each year. That leaves forty-six weeks to enjoy in the world before returning our summer home. So, when you are back in the world, what questions do you ask yourself?

The normal questions students ask themselves are pretty similar and widespread: What college should I go to? Will I make the team? What will make me happy? How much money can I make? What is my passion? What do I want out of life?

The problem with these questions is that they keep your focus solely on yourself. I don’t know about you, but the learning I get from just me is pretty limited… ok, it’s incredibly limited! In order to learn and improve, I’ve got to be connected with others and get some real experience.

Dr. Tim Elmore suggests we replace the ‘normal’ questions with different ones. What problem do I want to solve? How can I add value? What are the needs or opportunities around me? What do I have to give? And, what is life asking of me?

These questions keep us focused on those around us and their answers provide a clearer personal path ahead both in the short and the long term.

So, take a few moments back home to imagine yourself around the campfire with your closest friends. The sun is setting over Main Campus, the fish nip at the water from time to time, and you can hear the crackle of the wood as it lights our faces. Once you are in that place, ask yourself a question….

Have a great weekend, everyone!