Camp News & Blog

Shine

For a long time, I’ve had these little mirrors on my desk. They are about the size a quarter and fit easily (and safely) in a pocket. Kate got them for me a long while ago after we’d heard a story from a teacher we both admire.

A long time ago in a war-torn land, a young man was found walking around with a small piece of broken mirror in his hand. He’d use it to look underneath over-turned tanks, under rubble-strewn building lots and other hard to see into places. When war comes through your land, it’s good to be resourceful and look everywhere for something useful.

One day, some sunlight had reflected off his little mirror and shown right into someone else’s eyes. (Can you imagine how startling that would be?!?) These people had been trapped in a fallen building and the boy’s mirror woke them up. The young man was able to find help to get what turned out to be a family out of the wreckage, all safe.

That young man went on to become a teacher and would hand out little mirrors to his students, reminding to always let their light shine into the dark places around them.

Star Stuff

There are a number of song lyrics and quotes and stories about ‘letting your light shine.’ In fact, the famous astronomer, Carl Sagan, once said ‘We are made of star stuff.” (Which, when you look at what makes up a human body, it’s true!)

So, you were made to shine. And you were made different than me, your parents, your friends, the barista at your favorite coffee shop, that dude who never quite gets things right on the game, etc. This is not just a good thing – it’s a GREAT thing. Your light, when you truly shine, will be different from everyone else’s. You’ll stand out.

Two Big Ideas

Here are two ‘big thoughts’ when thinking about shining:

“The longer I live, the more deeply I learn that love is the work of mirroring and magnifying each other’s light. Gentle work. Steadfast work. Life-saving work in those moments when life and shame and sorrow occlude our own light from our view, but there is still a clear-eyed loving person to beam it back. In our best moments, we are that person for another.”

Maria Popova


Maria is one of the great readers and thinkers of our time. She focuses on ideas which have not changed, things that speak to our human nature. The importance of shining and reflecting light to those we love is hugely important. It’s hard to know what someone is struggling through. But, when you let that good light of yours shine on them, it’ll help move the gloom, even just a little bit.

The second thought is shorter and may seem a little scary… at first.

What gives light must endure burning.

Viktor Frankl

Now, I’ve spoken about Dr. Frankl often in these pages. He wrote one of the more influential books in my life and went to generously think and donate his time and knowledge for many, many years.

You are made of the star-stuff. You were made to shine. AND… you were made to withstand that shining. It’s not always easy to let yourself shine forth. There will be some (a small, probably vocal few) who would like to dampen your light or tell you something is wrong with it. If you are to ‘give light’, you’ve got to be strong enough to keep shining.

Rekindling

Want to know how to rekindle your light when it starts to gutter? A friend, shining their light upon you will help. Some time with a loved one with rekindle the spark. Thinking gratefully on the blessings and gifts already in your life feed the flame.

Shine forth, Weequahic. Give your light to others. You are strong enough and they are worth it.

What’s Your Story?

When did you realize that you talk to yourself? That little voice inside your head that says things like ‘wow… that donut looks really good’ or ‘wait… what test was today?’ or ‘you got this. You can do this!’

The technical term for this phenomenon is ‘self-talk.’ As far as we know, this super power exists only in humans and is definitely something sets us apart. It’s also places HUGE importance two things: story-telling and intention.

Your Story

That inner voice you hear? It’s telling you a story. Good, bad, indifferent… it’s a story that you are hearing. It’s almost an automatic thing.

When I was in college and playing some really good (for me) golf for our team, I got a place where I was close to the lead of a tournament on the last day. I distinctly remember the voice inside my head saying ‘you are going to screw this up’ on the 16th tee.

Now… that was a terrible story to be told. Thankfully, I had taken a class the year before by Dr. Bob Rotella, a sport psychologist who worked with athletes on improving their performance. I followed his advice:

  1. Take a deep breath.
  2. Recognize what it is – a story. Not real life. It’s a story.
  3. Check it – is it true? Is it useful to my ultimate purpose?
  4. Change it to a useful story intentionally.
  5. Get committed to what you want to do, perform and accept the results.

This is something I’ve used a TON of times since that point. Whether it was asking Kate out on our first date or surprising her for our second two weeks later, I had to use this system. Heck, right before I pulled in to Camp Weequahic in June, 2009, I had to use it. (“This is a mistake! It’s too far gone! No one would want to come to camp in this condition!” The little voice was SCREAMING in my head.) Good thing I had that system from Dr. Bob.

Two Questions

I love the middle step above. Ask two simple yet important questions: Is it true? In the golf example above, the answer was unknown – I hadn’t hit the next shot yet. So, no, it wasn’t ‘true.’ Secondly, was the ‘you are going to screw this up’ story useful? Only if I wanted to screw it up… and I decided I didn’t.

In that situation (as in most), a more useful story is one of planning and releasing. Teacher Arthur Brooks describes the process as ‘intention without attachment’: this is what I want to happen and I’m ok with how things go. (The ‘and’ is super important in that sentence!)

You Get To Choose

That voice inside is just that… a voice. It’s not always true. It’s not always useful. You can alter, change, ignore, accept or anything else you’d like to do. You are in charge, not that little voice.

So, does the voice ever go away? No, but with practice, you can get a lot better at either ignoring or reframing really quickly. “Oh, little voice – you must be nervous about something. It’ll be ok – watch this!” In the best scenario, you make friends with the voice as it’s a part of you that is trying to be helpful, even when it’s not actually being helpful.

You get to choose. Why not start practicing that choice today? Tell yourself a useful story about yourself and building on it. It’s one of your super-powers. Go use it!

Silliness and spirit at summer camp

The Camp Answer

Two recent articles written by highly respected researchers have me thinking summer camp may be just the form of ‘medicine’ our kids need.

Researcher and author Jonathan Haidt has pointed to social media being the most likely culprit in the worsening mental health of our young people, especially teen girls. There is a great deal of info that I won’t go into here but you can read through his research in After Babel.

Specifically, Haidt points to the ‘like’ feature on the different apps which came into being in and around 2012. Rather than being about connection, social media morphed into performance or acceptance.

In another attempt to explain the rising mental health crisis, researchers recently published an article in the Journal of Pediatrics pointing to the lack of independent play in our children’s lives which seems to lead to negative outcomes. While we parents mean well, sometimes the over-reach can actually be long-term detrimental to our children.

Perhaps Camp is the Answer

As with most things, there are most likely a large number of inputs which is leading to the worsening mental state of many of our children. But, having been a summer camp director and watching children play and form communities for the past 22 summers (holy cow….), the two possible culprits above seem to make a lot of sense. And, in my mind, camp seems more and more like a very good answer to these predicaments.

While I’m a big fan of Weequahic, I’m completely convinced that if Weequahic is not right for a family, I want them to head to another camp rather than not do it at all. (And, if you know a friend who is searching, might I suggest another camp in Wayne County?)

What other environment combines insane amounts of fun, near-peer role models and a laboratory for socio-emotional learning? Oh, and there is a WHOLE LOT of independent, unstructured play. And no cell phones or tech. And kids meeting other kids from literally all over the world.

Jump into that pool for a few weeks (or whole summer) and watch what happens. Kids consistently head home saying ‘I didn’t even miss my phone’ and ‘best summer ever’ and ‘what can’t school be more like camp.’ The positive impact to our campers’ mental health is enormous. In fact, the ACA has actually put the power of camp into a research study.

Going Forward

I’m not suggesting parents cancel their kids’ social media or let them play willy nilly in the streets. We don’t all the latter, either. However, the more like camp our kids’ lives can be at home, I bet the happier and more well-attuned they’ll be.

Can’t wait for camp,
Cole